AN OPEN LETTER TO THE WELLNESS AND LIFE COACHING INDUSTRIES - YOUR SILENCE ABOUT HEALTHCARE IS DISHEARTENING...BUT ITS NOT TOO LATE TO SPEAK UP.
Today a bill passed the congress that stripped 24 million Americans of healthcare. They decided that basically being human - especially a woman - means that they can deny you healthcare. Pre-existing conditions include asthma, autoimmunity, having had a c-section, pregnancy, having been sexually assaulted or domestically abused, obesity, and the list goes on.
A friend of mine offered what I find the most accurate commentary on the terrifying decision.
“Capitalizing on health problems created by our own culture & environment while also using nationalist rhetoric is perhaps the darkest side of capitalism.” - Stephanie Pool
I'm sick to my stomach at the victim blaming, fat shaming, sexism, racism, classism, and just plain lack of humanity.
Its a war on women and on the American Dream.
And no, I don't feel I'm being dramatic.
I left a full time, decade-long career in the film industry 3 years ago to start a body positive wellness and women’s empowerment practice because focusing on the problem of my weight for the previous 15 years left me more unwell, deeply self-loathing, and at a loss for power in my life. It wasn’t until I discovered that the number on the scale didn’t actually matter and was in fact distracting me from deeper issues going on that I began to reframe what health means to me.
I wanted to help other women in a similar struggle to find peace, self-love, and wellness at every size.
I forgave myself, spent years re-building a foundation of self-love and unlearning everything I learned about food and body so I could reclaim my health and sovereignty over my body and my voice.
I also became passionate about food justice, sustainability, and healthcare.
Now I’m working through the next levels of conditioning to upgrade my life and shed lack-conditioning, chronic stress, and trauma from my genome.
I believe that food is our medicine.
I believe that we create our reality.
I am a biohacker.
I am resilient.
...and thank god because otherwise my chronic pain, anxiety, exhaustion, and autoimmune issues would have probably sent me back to the security of cube life by now.
I am a living example that you can heal yourself with mindset, inner work, trauma healing, self-love, and good nutrition.
I’m working through money blocks, which, if you aren’t spiritually bypassing, can take a lot time.
Healing from chronic stress and trauma takes longer.
I have also done the intense work of moving out of victim into creator in my life.
And none of that is possible if you don’t feel safe.
So I am also, as are literally all of you, incredibly privileged.
I have had the privilege of having enough financial security and safety to quit full time work and start my business (barely).
AND I COULDN’T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT THE ACA - OTHERWISE KNOWN AS OBAMACARE.
While I’ve healed myself mostly holistically, I still count on having healthcare in my back pocket for gynecological support and to give me the peace of mind to know that if any major accident or illness happened, I wouldn’t be bankrupt and have to give up on my dream.
HEALTHCARE HELPED ME FEEL SAFE. AND IT HELPED ME LIVE THE AMERICAN, ENTREPRENEURIAL DREAM.
Now I wonder if I should go back to Canada. But as a dual citizen who has lived in the US for 14 years, I also don’t want to. I love this country, and if I hadn’t found my tribe of coaches and healers in California I know I wouldn’t be as well as I am today.
But most Americans do not have the privilege we do.
They are in survival.
And who remembers Maslow’s pyramid of needs?
If you are on the bottom of the pyramid, evolution and enlightenment are not possible without having basic needs met.
MOST AMERICANS ARE NOT IN THE SOCIOECONOMIC POSITION TO BIOHACK THEIR BOOTSTRAPS OR EVEN SHOP AT WHOLE FOODS, AND NOR DO THEY HAVE THE ENERGY OR CONDITIONS FOR SAFETY FOR THEM TO MANIFEST THEIR WAY OUT.
SO I MUST ASK YOU ALL - WHERE ARE YOUR VOICES IN THIS?
Why aren’t you fighting harder?
For this or anything else going on in the political climate today?
But ESPECIALLY FOR HEALTHCARE.
Because you’re afraid of not staying positive?
Because you chose love over fear?
Because you’re afraid of not keeping your vibe high?
Because the construct of this political system is beyond help and you want to live outside the system and create your own bubble?
I LOVE YOU.
BUT PLEASE GET OVER YOURSELF.
You can still be working towards abundance and vitality, building a business that empowers others and give back while fighting the good fight for the people who are not as privileged as you.
AND NOT ONLY CAN YOU, BUT YOU MUST.
Three years ago I helped my friend Max start a 1 for 1 soap company called Maxwell’s Soaps to help the homeless.
He is a former Navy Corpsman, a medic who survived 6 tours and has PTSD (a pre-existing condition).
He also goes to Burning Man.
And I want to tell you what he told me that I’ll never forget.
THE HEALTH OF THE INDIVIDUAL AFFECTS THE HEALTH OF THE GROUP.
WE ARE ONLY AS HEALTHY AS THE WEAKEST MEMBER OF OUR TRIBE.
I’m not going to apologize for bringing down the vibe.
I’m not going to apologize for my anger.
Because underneath the anger is heartbreak.
WHERE ARE YOU?
LIVES ARE ON THE LINE.
HERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW:
(and ps - if you are already doing this, let me know because i want to celebrate you and give you hug and a high five).
I’m also going to put my money where my mouth is and practice what I preach.
As of right now, I’ll be donating 2% of anything I earn in my practice to Planned Parenthood from now on.
And I’ll do more when I have more.
So to all my conscious friends, lightworkers, healers, motivational speakers, health coaches, life coaches, authors, and to every single one of you in the wellness community…
IF YOU TRULY BELIEVE IN HEALTH AND WELLNESS AND BEING THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THIS WORLD...
WAKE UP AND JOIN THE FIGHT.
YOU CAN’T FULFILL YOUR MISSIONS WITHOUT GETTING YOUR HANDS DIRTY.
WE NEED YOU.
With so much love and light,
As we're coming to the end of the year, its a powerful time to reflect on how far we've come in 2016. The wins and breakthroughs, as well as the tougher times that preceded them.
Its easy to fall into comparison and look at what you didn't do (yes, I did it too thanks to PMS last week ;)), but take a moment to go month by month and really look at what you accomplished. Who were you at this time last year? How far have you come?
This year has been pretty epic over here. I started out the year as a new coach with just a 3 clients and am celebrating a lot of wins this year. Here are some highlights:
*I now have a nearly full practice of 8 clients who are having AMAZING breakthroughs in their relationship to food, body, and themselves.
*I've been fully self-employed between coaching and my other consulting work since I took the leap and quit my job in March. It hasn't been without occasional panic attacks but I made it! No more cubicles or 2 hours of LA traffic every day.
*I'm healing my body from 15 years of adrenal fatigue and stress, and my body is finding a balance in weight and vibrant health as a result (without dieting!).
*I launched a whole new brand in The Curvy Confidence Coach which helped me connect with a lot of amazing women in the body positive and curvy communities.
*I created the Bikini Beach Day Workshop and Photoshoot with Edrea Lara and the beautiful pictures were shared all over the internet.
*I launched The Curvy Confidence Sisterhood to create opportunities for women to heal their relationships with their bodies and selves through body positive connection and sisterhood
*I was interviewed for FabUPlus magazine (keep an eye out for the summer issue!)
*I met Taryn Brumfitt, creator and director of the powerful film about loving our bodies called Embrace (if you're in LA, click here for tickets to a screening and panel on February 8th!)
*And I was named one of 100 Women of Worth by Worthy Women LA
And there I was last week PMSing and crying because I thought I didn't do enough this year. Its easy to focus on what we didn't do and beat ourselves up over it.
If you find yourself noticing that you're doing that, look at what you DID do first. And then come back to this and explore what didn't happen with love - did you take on too much? could you be better speaking up, saying no, and putting yourself first next year? how can you set yourself up for more success with what you learned?
And what are some of your intentions for next year? What life do you want to create?
I encourage you to think about how you can come from a place of self-love (and without getting on the New Year diet train) - not trying to change yourself or your body but to focus on how you want to FEEL, how you can be and own more of who you are, and what impact you want to have in the world!
Lead with your soul, and your body will find its balance. <3
I've spent the month of December planning some AMAZING new offerings for next year so I can serve more women like you in having the lives you want and lasting sustainable health without diets. I would LOVE your feedback in helping me do just that so I've created an end of the year survey and as thanks I want to gift you a freebie New Year Intention Setting session so you can start of 2017 even more powerfully and look back next year with confidence.
I love you all SO much <3
Here's to an amazing 2017!
Click here to take the survey and book your freebie session.
Thanksgiving is one of those holidays known for bringing families together...but also for pushing them apart.
And there are a lot of families feeling divided post election in a way that may make dinner later today feel more daunting than usual. Some of my clients have been experiencing a sense of isolation in their beliefs since the election, and frustration with the fact that it seems like their families maybe voted against not only a progressive way forward, but the values that make up all of who they are, so in a sense with one vote, their families rejected them.
That's a hard pill to swallow and its hard for many to think of today as a festive one. Not to mention with Standing Rock reminding us of the not so pretty history of the day, the tension is thick and fears about how dinner will go are running rampant.
So how do we come together today around the dinner table with love, understanding, and without eating everything in sight? How do we express our truth without it devolving into the worst Thanksgiving ever?
The first step is to remember that your family likely feels as firm in their beliefs as you do, and they also may be having the same fears. Making them wrong for having a different perspective won’t get you far. I know it can be so hard to understand.
See if you can find a neutral place in your heart. You don’t need to make other people wrong to be grounded in your truth. Making people wrong so you can be right is a power struggle that won’t end in the way you're hoping for.
“But,” I’ve been asked, “isn’t it our duty to help others see the light?”
The light from a space of judgement isn’t light. If you go to them with judgement and force your own beliefs, as much as you believe they are the “right side”, they will not likely come to you to be a safe place to open up and grow when they’re ready. And it’s not fun for your either.
Forcing, pushing, is also blocking. Blocking opportunities to really connect and be understood.
We have to model in ourselves what we hope to see in them. And sometimes that means biting your tongue if what’s going to come out isn’t from a loving place.
You being a model of love and light - not buying into the drama, not losing yourself in the argument - that will, in a sense, be a seduction. One day your light will shine so brightly that they might say “hmmmmm, she seems so bright and joyful, I want what she has”.
Your confidence and being unwavering in your beliefs from a space of love is powerful. And by unwavering, I mean not buying into the fear, anger, and hate by trying to fight theirs.
That's what it means to be empowered.
Think of today as an opportunity for planting seeds of love, truth, and light. Invite them into the conversation without forcing. “I don’t agree with you, but if you’re interested in understanding me more, let me know and I’m happy to talk about it with you openly and with love”.
And then breathe and surrender.
Trying to convince them to see your side and wake them up will only lead to them dig deeper into the heels of their convictions.
One day they might have that inkling of a thought that maybe this isn’t the president they thought they were voting for. If you’ve set the scene with love, you just might be the safe place for them to go if they start to question their beliefs and want to talk about them.
Be the lighthouse. A warrior of love. Meet them where they are.
Repeat my favorite mantra when I find myself in judgement of others…
"They are doing the best that they can with the skills and the knowledge that they have. I forgive them."
And when you find yourself stuffing your face with stuffing to deal with the tension?
Pause and breathe again.
Put your fork down.
Look around the table, take them in, remember who they really are, and send them love. Connect to the gratitude of the fact that you still have them in your life. Remember they do love you. Maybe its hard for them to show that in a way that feels good, but I promise they do.
Of all the days in the year, this is the day to give thanks for what you do have. "Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot." Find gratitude in the friends and community you do have who share your values. Connect with them. Let them help you see that you are worthy of love and acceptance just as you are, for everything that you are.
Thank you for being you and for shining YOUR beautiful lights in the world. I'm grateful for YOU!
Happy Thanksgiving <3
For some more tips on staying empowered though these post-election times, I shared some tips in this article on Elle magazine.
And as always, I’m here for you if you need additional support.